Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Wikipedia
What I think I others know and what I know
What other actually know and what I actually know
I came across this term a year ago and I sometimes think of it, the meaning of it and why it exist. The older I get the more I understand how little I know about the world. This also gives me a bit of anxiety every time I post a post. “Was the fact I presented correct?” “Did I express myself correctly?” are a few thoughts that crossed my mind. I remember when I was closer to my 20s I didn’t have this feeling at all due to my inexperience attitude. It was nice to be young and stupid because you could always blame on that.
My writing these days have become more based on my experiences and experiences are personal and there are no wrong or right in it. But unfortunately that won’t eliminate the feeling of imposter syndrome. At least I can write with a slight confident. I have in mind that I write for my own sake and if someone else would like to take part of my experiences, they are most welcome to do that.
Last year I was thinking of Library of Alexandria and that I know so little about it. I am a bit ashamed that I have not dived into its story yet even though knowledge is my weakness. We all are a library of ourselves and the different is that our library is personal and unique in every way. I sometime feel that I hold the key to someone else’s success in life like someone else is holding mine. I would not want to take everything I have learnt with me to my grave without having passed it further. Maybe that might be one of the reason why I started to write, to tell my story so that someday someone somewhere somehow finds my words at the right time.
The imposter syndrome can be a pain in the neck but as long as we have our own library to refer to then I believe that it will make us more confident to speak our mind. So keep exchanging books with each other and grow our own library!